i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize