I want to walk on stilts...naked
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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