Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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