Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
