Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
