I feel great
I just peed on a car
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
