she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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