Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
