yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
