Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
