Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
