Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Screwed.edu
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
