He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
