whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
