It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
