Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Drunk is a universal language darling
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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