I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize