Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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