you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
