Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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