He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
