HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
