That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I could make wine with my vomit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
