'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
