The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I party with great urgency now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
