Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
