My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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