i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i think im in europe. pls send help
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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