Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
