ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
