You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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