Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
