Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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