So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
