I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
