How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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