you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
