i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
