Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
