Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize