Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize