At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
