how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
