i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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