His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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