i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize