im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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