I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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