farters have to be the big spoon...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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