You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
