I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
