i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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