Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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