so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
