that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
