Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
