i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
