we have officially lost it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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