we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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