listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
