While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
